Sunday, October 26, 2008

No weigh-in for me...

Well Thursday's are my normal weigh-in days and this Thursday I had dinner plans with a few girls from work.  But I had decided to go weigh-in,  and leave and meet the girls.  However; plans do not always work out that way.  I was running late at work, had to go visit one of my clients at the hospital, and then head back to the office and clean up.  Unfortunately, by the time I got to the office it was basically time for my weigh-in to begin, and it is kinda far away from where we were going for dinner.  So I decided to skip it.  Maybe not the smartest idea, but I know I will be back there next week. 

In other news, my eating has not been the best lately.  This whole past week at work I ate out everyday for lunch.  Not like me at all!  I made healthy choices for the most part, but still.  Eating out is bad for my weight and my budget!  So I have already gotten my lunch ready for tomorrow and planned out my meals so I won't run into any trouble.  I am also planning on being organized and going back to the gym this week.  The gym and I have been having a little break for the last couple of weeks from one another.  It has really just been out of laziness and poor organization on my part that I haven't been going.  So I am packing my gym bag tonight, and putting it in my car, so I will have no excuse to not go straight after work tomorrow.  I always feel so much better and healthier when I go, but I struggle with the motivation to go.  I wish there would just be a time when it was second nature and habit and that I would like to go.  Hopefully one day.  

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Up and Down

The past few weeks I have not been feeling good.  I've been sick, not happy with work, unsure of what direction to go in my life, been sad about my break-up which occurred 6 months ago and I have just not been happy in general.  I know my mood has effected all areas of my life, from work and friendships, to my eating habits and workout routine.  I haven't been tracking, I haven't been drinking enough water, I haven't been exercising.  I just sort of felt that I really didn't want to deal with anything.

Then on Saturday, I decided to organize my room.  I threw out things I no longer needed, gave away clothes that no longer fit (YAY!) and was able to put away pieces of my past so to speak.  Since then I have felt like an entirely new person.  I am happy at work, happy at home, happy with my weight and really wanting to commit to this journey again.  I know this feeling won't last forever, so I need to cherish and take advantage of it when I can.  But I am just feeling really optimistic and positive today.  As I was giving away clothes that no longer fit, and trying on clothes that used to be too small, I thought I really can do this.  I really can be healthy.  I feel I am entering a new era in my life and I am so excited to see where it takes me.  I don't know what will happen at my weigh-in on Thursday; I may lose, I may gain.  I hope to lose as I want that scale to continue to go down.  But with the way I am feeling today, even if it was a gain it would be okay.  I can only do my best and if I give it 100% then that is all I can ask of myself.  So I am going to give it my very best, and if I do that, then I will succeed.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Well I was a little afraid of the scale this week, because of Thanksgiving and because I didn't make it to the gym.  However; the scale was kind to me.  Down 2.6lbs!  It is likely because I was so sick the last few days, that I have not been able to eat a lot.  But still it's a pretty sweet loss!  

I am now within 7lbs of my healthy weight range.  Wow.  7 pounds and then I am technically healthy.  That seems amazing to me.  Although that is not my final goal, and I still have 20lbs before I reach my final goal, but for the first time in a long time I feel like this is really do-able.  I really will lose the weight and keep it off.  At times I just can't believe it.  I look in the mirror and I still see fat and imperfections, which I am sure I will always see, even once I am at my goal weight.  But I am beginning to see the new me at the same time.  The new healthy Fiona.  I know it has taken me a long time to lose this weight, 11 months and counting.  But I know that I will be able to maintain it and I know that I am losing this weight once and for all and I know I am losing it for the right reasons.  And that's a pretty good feeling.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The best laid plans...

I have this week off from work.  So my wonderful plan was to go to the gym everyday, as well as enjoy the wonderful fall weather when not raining and go for plenty of walks.  I also need to organize my room and give some clothes and other things away.  Plus, I was looking forward to catching up with everyones blogs.

The weekend didn't quite go according to plan...but it was Thanksgiving after all so I allowed for that fact.  I was going to begin Monday.  Monday came and went, and I met up with a friend to go over grad school applications.  I was planning on going to the gym after that, forgetting it was a holiday and my gym closed early.  So that brings me to Tuesday.  I did get a tiny bit of work done on organizing my room.  Unfortunately...even though I was on vacation, some things went down at work and I had to do some work at home and then go into the office and finish it up.  I was not a happy camper.  Plus, by this time I wasn't feeling so great.  When I got home my stomach didn't feel well so I took it easy.  Then today, I woke up feeling terrible.  Sick, sick, sick.  Could hardly eat anything.  Could barely stand in the shower.  So no gym for me.  I am hoping tomorrow I feel a little better so I can at least go for a walk or something!  This is what happens when I procrastinate.  Had I just gone to the gym on the weekend and Monday as planned, it wouldn't be so bad, but now I haven't been to the gym in about a week.  I just feel sluggish.  Oh well, I can only take it one day at a time.  

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Weigh In and Weekend

I had my weigh-in on Thursday.  Down 0.6.  Not bad.  Although, I was expecting more.  I had weighed myself at home the previous day and I was down about 2.5 pounds.  Granted, I know my scale and the ww scale is a little different, but I was expecting to hit at least 1lb!  But a loss is a loss, and I will take it.

As for this long weekend.  I am a little nervous about how it will all play out.  My original plan was to save pretty much all my flex points for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday!  But then last night I went to a friends for dinner.  I already didn't have a lot of dinner points left and we had Shepard's Pie (so good), salad, cheese bread, and ice cream cake for desert.  Well shoot.  That went  into my flex points.  

Today my plan is to eat well, go to the gym to earn some extra points.  Then tonight I am going out for drinks and dancing for a friend's birthday.  So hopefully I will be able to control myself and stay within my points.

Then tomorrow I will go to the gym before dinner to earn some points.  We have also decided as a family to go out for Thanksgiving dinner this year instead of make it at home.  This is actually positive, as there will be no left-overs around the house.  Also, the place we are going you can chose from 3 different starters, 3 different entrees, and 3 different deserts.  I don't know what the choices are yet, but at least this way I can try and make the healthiest choice possible.  

I am also off from work this upcoming week (woo-hoo!!)  I decided to take the week off because I had some extra vacation time and I really want to organize my house and get rid of things I don't need anymore.  So I figured this would be a good opportunity.  Plus, since I am home this week I really will have no excuses of "I'm too tired to go to the gym!"  I will have all the time in the world.

Hope everyone has a great long weekend!!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Pounds Vs. Kilograms

I have a digital scale at home, and it is usually in pounds as that is what I weigh myself in.  However; it does have the option of both pounds and kilograms.  Lately, I have been all into the kilograms.  I don't know why.  Partly I think it is because pyschological it is easier for me to see the smaller number of the  kilogram.  Well this morning, I weigh myself (I have problem and weigh myself everyday).  So I weigh myself, I weigh 61.7 kilograms.  Sweet.  I know that is around mid 130's, likely around 136/137.  I decide to switch the setting on my scale and do pounds to find out the exact amount, instead of getting a calculator and multiplying it by 2.2.  Switch the scale.  And what is the number that is shown?!?!?!?  142 pounds.  Huh?  I get a calculator 61.7 * 2.2 = 135.7.  I'm confused.  Is my scale broken?  What do I really weigh?  Did I gain weight?  Or lose weight?  Now I realize it doesn't actually matter what my scale says, it only matters what the weight watchers scale says on Thursday evenings.  But I just want to know!  Annoying.

In other news.  It is an absolute GORGEOUS day here!  So I am going to go for a walk and go to the gym.  I LOVE the autumn weather.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Weigh-In and Goals

Well I had my weigh-in on Thursday night.  I gained 2 pounds.  It was too be expected after a week of kinda letting loose with my eating, but I was still disappointed with myself.  I don't know why I would sabotage myself after so much hard work.  

But...this is a new week.  Angie wanted us to focus on a goal for the upcoming week, and after a lot of thinking, I have decided to give myself a goal every week for the remainder of the challenge.  This week's goal:  WATER

This is something I struggle with and I really don't know why.  I love water.  I really do.  I don't usually get bored with it, I love the cool refreshing taste and feeling.  Yet, everyday I struggle with drinking at least 4 glasses!  I have no excuse for this.  I have water bottles.  We have water coolers at work, one right outside my office.  So I have no excuse not to drink enough.  So my goal is to have 8 glasses of water a day, except for gym days when I will have between 10-12 glasses.   This is completely doable and I know I can do it.

In other news.  On Thursday night, I had a ice satisfying dinner, and after dinner I was craving something sweet.  So I searched my house, didn't really find anything, so I left the kitchen thinking the craving would just go away.  Plus, how was I supposed to satisfy it would no food?After about an hour, the craving was stronger, but I noticed that my stomach was full.  So even if I had food, it would satisfy the craving, but most likely upset my stomach because I was full.  It was almost as if my mouth was craving the sweet, if that makes any sense.  So in the end after not being able to concentrate on anything I had some tea with sugar (usually I don't have sugar in my tea).  And it was WONDERFUL!  My craving was completely satisfied and I didn't stuff myself with food!  Yay!  And now I am off to get some water.  My body feels dehydrated.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Why do I do this to myself?!?!?

I don't know what my problem has been lately.  I have been feeling really unmotivated.  Unmotivated to go to the gym, to eat healthy, to blog and to read others blogs.  I don't know what it is from...but it needs to stop!

Today I had one candy, why?  Did it really taste that good?  No!  Why did I waste points on that!  But then after I ate it, I said in my head, well I already know this week is going to be a bad weigh-in, because my eating/tracking has been out of control, so I may as well have another piece of candy!  The same damn candy that really was not very good!  But did I stop at one more piece...of course not.  I don't know how many pieces I had.  5, 6, 7, 8.  I lost track.  I don't know why I do that to myself.  Why do I let all my hard work go to hell for nothing!  I am frustrated with myself.

I know all I can do is take it one day at a time.  I know I will need to face that scale tomorrow night, and it will not be pretty.  I weighed myself tonight, and I have a gain thus far.  So I am expecting it, but I am really just disappointed with myself that I would let all the hard work go.  Starting now I am committed to staying on points, drinking my water, and going to the gym.  I can only do the best I can do, and I want to do my best.  I have felt tired, and heavy these last few days and I think it is because of the food I am eating.  So I know my body is rebelling against my old food habits and I need to have a healthy body for me.